The Bait And Switch

Have you ever been lured in by a really tempting shop window?

That moment when you are walking down the aisles of Brent Cross, stupidly seasonal Frappucino in tow (don't expect me to take you seriously if your beverage has more than one adjective in it) and you see the big sparkly sign of a SALE.

I don't know about you, but there are few things that get my heart racing. Brand new bottles of Patron, not yet unsealed by my day-drinking 'it's okay if I just have one in the morning and then some later' mother. Other people's puppies who are clearly making eye contact with me and run away together; and SALES.

It's that feeling when you walk into the store and get to shove all the other bitches out the way to find the perfect something that you definitely don't need - but at half the price you were going to (not) pay beforehand. It's also the safest place to satisfy your urge to push strangers without being called out on it. Not that i'm into that..

So imagine that feeling when you see the big shiny SALE sign, and you walk in to find a bunch of overpriced dresses and shoes that you can't afford; and a lonely pile of out-dated accessories on sale all in the wrong size shoved in a corner.
I understand if you need to take a moment, I should have forewarned this would be heart-wrenching.

This my friends, is called a bait and switch. You are baited in with the promise of great things, and the moment you're lured in, they switch it up on you.

The BAIT AND *fucking* SWITCH.

Now you must be thinking,
"Why is this bitch going on about sales?" 
"Is she okay?"
"What's wrong with my zesty lemon lime cooler?".

Well I will tell you what's wrong.

Bait and switches don't just happen with our clothes, they happen with our hearts.

Hear me out.

Have you ever been on a date with a guy who seems just perfect. He tells you how he is really into the same music as you, that he's really looking for something serious and that he'd love to settle down with a girl just like you. This is made even worse if he is tall, because in the Jewish world that is a real bonus.
You're on a high right? Tall, hunky Sam Goldstein wants to whisk you off your shellac coated feet and go marry you overlooking the Old City in Jerusalem while all your single friends watch with awe at his tall-ness.
Now the moment that you start to let your guard down and believe that any of this might be true - he makes the switch.

The switch can be a variety of things, and it has many triggers. For example:

a) He finally manages to have sex with you, and disappears into oblivion.

b) He doesn't manage to have sex with you, and decides he hates you because you're a frigid bitch for not taking his uncircumcised self like a champ.

c) No apparent reason, he just enjoys the game of making girls fall in love with him and then goes to break someone else's heart

I believe the whole idea of the Bait-And-Switch comes down to a quintessential game playing and thrill of winning. For some reason, these Fuckboys (yes I said it, that is what they are) get a little ego-boner from reeling in a girl just to cut them off. And it hurts.

Now, if we girls know that this is happening, why do we keep getting reeled in?

It is because we think we are different. The exception. We are raised by our parents to think we are the most special perfect creatures in the world and no one would not love us. Then our friends spend all their time telling us how great we are too. So this means that when that little voice pops up in your head screaming 'HE IS GOING TO ASS-FUCK YOUR HEART' we ignore it because we think we are too special for that to happen to us.

I had an experience of a Bait-And-Switch recently. Not just a Bait-And-Switch, but a deja vu Bait-And-Switch. That's right, I let myself get messed around by the same guy, in the same way TWICE. Sometimes you need to make a mistake a few times to make sure it was one.

This guy is a Bait-And-Switch pro. He used all the same tactics all over again, lured me in the same way and switched on me all over again the same. Motherfucker even used the exact same song to trap me in his douchebag web. Yes it worked, shut up.

When it comes to the dating world, it's tough enough as it is. All I can advise is that if you feel that bait floating towards you, do not take it unless you can handle the switch...

K bye

The Geisler